Define how you’ll do business with yourself

We have only ourselves to blame for some things. For instance, I woke up recently with a massive headache and feeling like I’d slept 90 minutes on a bed of nails. The night before, I had dinner with my friend, Arthur, and we talked for hours while gorging on loads of beef brisket, drinking Yuengling, and eating decadent chocolate cheesecake. As a result, I got to bed very late (past 8:30 pm) with an overindulged, swollen belly.

Staring in the bathroom mirror at weary eyes, I popped three ibuprofen and decided I needed a Terms of Service agreement — a binding legal contract that outlines the rules, responsibilities, and expectations for my life.

I created the following Terms of Service and ratified them in an emergency closed-door private meeting with myself.

My 5-Point Terms of Service Agreement

Welcome to the life of R. Dennis Brady. This life is owned by God, the One True God of the Bible, and operated by R. Dennis Brady (with the help of his wife of over 30 years.) By accessing or using this life, I agree to be bound by the following terms and conditions:

Rule 1 — I will stop overeating

Did you know the adult obesity rate in the United States has risen from 13% in 1960 to 42% currently? It’s good that Arthur doesn’t treat me to brisket more often.

Rule 2 — I will stop overindulging in sweets

Does one person really need to eat a 3-pound wedge of Cheesecake Factory Godiva Chocolate cheesecake in one sitting? I do love to top off a meal with something sweet, and my personal Terms of Service agreement doesn’t prohibit moderation, especially with better choices. For instance, I love keto-friendly triple chocolate ice cream with three net carbs, and I only need a few bites, not a half-gallon.

Rule 3 — I will not go to bed late on weekdays

It sometimes frustrates my wife, but 9 pm is late for me. That’s because 4–5 am is early. Rule 3 is necessary because of rule number 4.

Rule 4 — Don’t sleep late

Early is where the power is. Early is when you become elite. Early is how you harness your superpower of consistency. Before your spouse wakes, before the kids scream for Fruit Loops, before the bells and beeps of your life sound, and before the daily grind sucks you under its wheels, get up and invest time in your dreams.

Rule 5 — Abandon all the rules when getting together with your best friend

In our hectic, frenetic world, time with our best friends can be as rare as the top-shelf brisket we devoured last night. Toss aside all the rules for these special occasions.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. — Proverbs 18:24

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