My wife and I may pass each other in the hallway once or twice a week because our hyper-busy lives overlap very little. I’m in bed shortly after sunset and up when she’s just hitting her second sleep cycle.

The Road Trip Escape

Consequently, we enjoy holding each other hostage in the car every few Saturdays. I’ll pick a random town within a two-hour drive, and we’ll do a road trip. Centered around lunch, of course. We prefer old historic downtown vibes with eating dives frequented by the locals. Or the beach if it’s not too hot and crowded. You become less tolerant of heat and crowds as you hit middle age.

Unplugging from the Noise

But the primary purpose is to get away – away from the television, away from my desk, house chores, and other people, quite honestly. My wife has words she needs to get out and she’d argue that I do, too.

We recently did a Friday night road trip to celebrate our 33rd wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, the drive was much better than the food, despite the 4.6 stars from the online restaurant reviews.

Investing in Your Marriage

These monthly road trips are just one way to invest in your marriage – plant a flag and rope off boundaries around a few hours to give each other 100% focus. The demands on your time come from many directions – family, friends, employers, customers, church, and volunteer organizations. You can passionately hustle between all of these worthy causes, serving each until you’re absolutely empty, and have nothing left for the one you made a covenant with before Almighty God.

Want to Try These Road Trips for Yourself?

A Few Road Trip Tips:

1 – Research Your Destination

How you select a road trip destination depends on the nuances of your marriage. I like surprises – giving, not receiving, and my wife really doesn’t care where we go. As a result, she’s in the dark until we get there, or figures it out. But the essential part is having a plan. Getting in the car on Saturday morning and looking at each other like two lost Bassett Hounds isn’t the best way to start the day.

2 – Put Your Phones on Do Not Disturb

Other people’s demands for your attention don’t stop because you’ve planned a special Road Trip Saturday. This advice may not be practical if you leave small children with a babysitter, so keep a check on those texts or calls periodically. However, everyone and everything else can wait. You know how annoying it is when your spouse interrupts you by holding up a finger and saying, “One second, I need to take this.”

3 – Consider the Conversations

What do you need to talk to your spouse about? This long drive is your chance to engage without interruptions to discuss plans, decisions, and concerns. Also, ask questions and listen to your spouse. The road trip is not all about you. Think of these monthly road trips as a strategic war room session between two generals – mapping out the next month and making sure your mission stays on course.

4 – Have a Backup Plan

These road trips trap you in the car for 3-4 hours, so what happens when you run out of things to talk about in hour three? You and your spouse should come with books, podcasts, or YouTube videos. We catch up on the latest sermons of our favorite preachers or learn about common interests.

On our latest day trip to Winston-Salem, we listened to part of Shawn Ryan’s 3.5-hour interview with Gary Brecka, a human biologist and longevity expert.

Again, a little pre-planning keeps the wheels on the road trip.

5 – Slow Down and Savor the Small Moments

Make the most of your day and don’t try to hustle back for the 4pm college football game. Plan a different Saturday if there’s a game you absolutely cannot miss. Walk around this town you’ve never visited, hop in and out of small, one-of-a-kind shoppes. Resist ordering dessert at the popular local lunch dive and find a neighborhood specialty sweet spot.

We enjoyed fabulous cheesecake slices from Cheesecakes By Alex on our Winston-Salem trip (they ship Nationwide by the way.) I’m all in on the Bananas Foster.

Spread out the experiences. Be open to your spouse’s whims. Take pictures. Wear comfortable walking shoes.

Keeping the Right Perspective

These monthly road trips are an investment, but they don’t have to be expensive. If money is tight, pack a picnic lunch to enjoy at the town park. Splurge on a local sweet treat if you can. But remember, the investment is in the biggest decision you’ve ever made, to the most important person you’ve ever made a promise to, before the One True and Only God.

Finally, consider this: How many of your other well-meaning, time-consuming commitments will suffer if your marriage fails?

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