I’m learning a lot about relationship building from Toby.

We may never be best friends, but I’m committed to our relationship.

Toby is a 2 and 1/2 year old French Bulldog/Pug mix that we adopted from a rescue agency in Lancaster County. He’s had a rough upbringing. We were told that he was abused and obviously by a man. He won’t come near me by choice. If I’m in the vicinity he doesn’t take his eyes off me and never turns his back.

But I’m working hard to overcome his fear and lack of trust. I’ll have one of my children, generally my dog whispering daughter, Keely, gather him up so I can pet him and whisper sweet nothing’s to him. Or I’ll take him for a long walk, talk to him and pet him a lot. He’s a captive audience on the leash.

I realize that it may take a while but if I consistently do this routine, I will break down his barriers. What I’ve realized from this experience is that the same effort and diligence should be applied to human relationships. And I’m not very good in this realm. It’s very easy for me to give up on a relationship.

I’ve been bit before. And I’ve become somewhat like Toby. Untrusting and fearful. It’s easier to stay at a distance, never turning my back rather than risk getting close. And bit again.

Bite me once, shame on you. Bite me twice, shame on me.

Although I’m generally not a compassionate person, Toby is bringing out a new side of me. I understand him.

And he’s got my heart on a leash.