Who’s Driving?

In my last post, Life in the Fast Lane, I shared a crazy dream I had about riding shotgun with a cigarette smoking, pedal to the medal crazy man. Today I’ll go under the hood to see what it meant, if anything at all.

If anyone has insights, please comment.

My wife, Sandra, says that numbers are significant. In my dream I asked if we were going to drive 195mph. The man said no we would do 10 better than that. He didn’t say 205, but I thought 205 in the dream. So, 195, 10, 205. Analyze that. I have no clue.

What I believe about the rest is this: I was in a situation totally outside my control. All I could do was put on the seatbelt and pray. I was at peace. Does that mean that I’m at peace in my life? No. I’m at peace about death. I know I’ll be in Heaven.

But I’m no good with this life thing.

I am anxious a lot. Worried and stressed. Daily.

But as a Christian, I am supposed to have peace in Jesus. And I think God was reminding me of this in the dream. The dream me is who the real me should be. And wants to be.

Now the seatbelt. I think that’s an important element in the dream. It was the only tangible (safe) action that I could take in the natural world. Is God telling me that He gave me a brain and a body and that He expects me to do everything I can do in all situations? And then I should pray for the rest?

I think so.

And I was in the passenger seat, not the drivers, which seems indicative that I’m not in control of my destiny. But who really is? What’s the saying, a man makes plans and God laughs?

Now if the dream me is who the real me should be, who was the wild man driving the car? He represents a few traits that I despise. A smoker, reckless, impulsive, undisciplined. He’s not the kind of guy that I would choose for a friend.

Does he represent how I see myself?

The things that I’m most anxious over are situations that I’ve created for myself. How?

Recklessness, impulsiveness and a lack of discipline. Not on moral issues or anything overtly obvious, but definitely a hell of my own making.

Smoking? Not sure about that one except that it really enhanced my disdain for the man.

So my synopsis is that the dream is a tale of 2 men. My own Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The man I want to be-at peace with the world and totally trusting in the Lord and the man I perceive myself to be-the man who creates the messes that cause my anxiety.

And the question really comes down to who am I going to let drive my life? The madman or The Lord?