Learning new things can be very painful.

This is especially true when the new things are completely outside of your skill set. A couple of weeks ago I turned my lawnmower key and its response was “clickety, click, click, clickety, click, click”.


My lawnmower motor skills end at turning the key. Google said it could be the solenoid switch or the battery. I opted to work on the battery. Seemed simpler.

I have a slow trickle battery charger so I hooked it up. After I looked up Google. I wasn’t sure about which setting to use. I left it and came back the next day. Clickety click again.

I still had an inkling that the battery was the issue. It was old. I decided to replace it. So I began unhooking the battery. The terminals and bolts were so corroded that I couldn’t get the bolts off and in the process almost ripped off a fingernail. Hence the painful part. An hour later and the bolt was still on. Mercifully, the terminal connecty thing broke. Merciful yes, but uhho.

Off to Lowe’s I go. The same helpful lady was there who helped me with my weed eater. They didn’t carry my battery size. But they did have the tools I needed to fix the connector. Great. She was informing me of some important battery tips when I asked, “How do you know so much about this stuff?” She replied, “I was the son my father never had.”

Well, I wasn’t the daughter my father never had. Just the son who never learned anything growing up.

I finally got the right battery at Auto Zone and came home and installed it. All went well. It cranked right up and I almost got the yard cut.


The blade stopped engaging. It would come and go sporadically. I Googled again. The solution didn’t sound as simple as replacing the battery. Time to call an expert.


I’ve gone as far as I plan to go with OTJ training. It’s too time consuming and painful. There’s nothing wrong with learning new things and broadening your horizons, but one must know where the horizon ends and you’ve crossed into Stupidland.

Instead of doing that, I’m going to take a left at the light and pull up to an ATM. Pay a professional.

That can be painful too, but I’ll keep all of my appendages.

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